Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fuck appropriateness.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
