Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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