I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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