Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
