so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
