I hate your face
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so let's talk penis.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
