"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
