So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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