I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
