honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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