their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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