the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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