who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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