dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
