Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
