I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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