Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
