No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
