Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize