TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
