ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
