um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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