quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
