im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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