all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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