And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
