porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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