i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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