at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
