it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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