I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize