you guys were way drunker than both of me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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