everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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