he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
