Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
