I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
FUCK WHALES
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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