why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
