you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
