An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
