You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
