I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is this like a preordered booty call?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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