First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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