Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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