if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
