I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
