I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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