Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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