Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
