hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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