You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
