No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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