He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
