420 ftw
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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