Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize