how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
