My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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