See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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