You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
